Marriage should be guided by social propriety

 While marriage is fundamentally an individual and private matter, social conventions have long dictated when and how it should occur. Traditionally, individuals are expected to marry upon reaching an acceptable age, often prompted by community expectations placed on their parents. In contrast to this conventional timeline, modern trends show a noticeable shift toward late-life marriages, divorce, and remarriage.

This evolution is particularly evident among public figures. Recently, a television journalist married a state Chief Minister; both of them were in their fifties, divorced, and the Chief Minister already had two adult sons working as advocates. Media reports indicated they had been in a relationship for years while waiting for their respective divorces to finalise. Similar instances exist, such as a former long-serving chief minister who facilitated the divorce of his partner so they could marry. Having already raised five children from his previous marriage, this later union clearly prioritised companionship and personal fulfilment over the traditional objective of raising a family.

Such relationships frequently spark ethical debates. While no statute can—or should—regulate the private romantic lives of consenting adults, the public often expects leaders in high office to embody certain social values. When prominent figures engage in extramarital relationships or remarry late in life, questions inevitably arise regarding the message they project to society.

Historically, marriage in India was anchored in the Ashrama system—Brahmacharya (student life), Grihastha (householder duties), Vanaprastha (retirement/reflection), and Sannyasa (renunciation). While this framework cannot be rigidly applied today, thinkers like Swami Dayanand Saraswati argued for specific age windows, suggesting that while men could marry up to the age of 48 if they maintained celibacy, women should marry between 16 and 24 due to the biological demands of childbearing.

Yet, history and global precedent demonstrate that human relationships rarely conform to strict biological or age-based doctrines. The British philosopher Bertrand Russell married for the fourth time at the age of 80 after three divorces. Similarly, in India, numerous celebrities have remarried well past their sixties.

Although late-stage marriages—especially involving individuals with grown children—still draw social disapproval, there can be no uniform standard of morality. Ultimately, the balance between personal happiness and social propriety must remain a matter of individual conscience and organic social dialogue rather than rigid regulation.

 

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